i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Did I show you my penis last night?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize