we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
