For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
