Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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