My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
