isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
