Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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