peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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