so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
