U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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