can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
