I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
