Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
