Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
