whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
