i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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