Nicole vs. Life
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
