Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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