That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
