I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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