It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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