i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
