True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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