New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
