did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
