I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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