We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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