I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
