I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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