hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
