Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
