I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
