Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
