I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
