I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
