well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
