i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i think im in europe. pls send help
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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