Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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