he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
