If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
