oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize