Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
