just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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