My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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