I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
