There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
