hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
