i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
