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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
