Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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