Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
