Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
