i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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