i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
