i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
