Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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