This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
