I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
