problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
