so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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