Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
